'Curve balls' lingering on my mind from the July 4th celebrations lead me to the perpetual parental learning curve for drug use. The "Makes us all happy" and the never, never land of expectations makes adult behavior acceptable. The mental-health sectors struggle with breaking the history of behavioral patterns for children.
The "Bell Curve" helped my class, my mental-health patients, understand the "preachy, boring, 'spouty', brainy kid. I , only, drew the curve and scattered dots representing subjective measures of "like football as a sport" for children, friends, parents, and caregivers all over the board. I then drew a red curve through the general flow of dots. They could see that the skewed graph was similar to a bell. I, then, labeled the graph using the normal distribution theory of Charles Murray's Bell Curve - only, at face value- and chose a dot from the myriad dots in the "Some People" and labeled it Alan.
Alan understood things "generally" were or were not acceptable. But it was okay to be in different places on the curve. But not to expect everyone else to be at the same dot as himself. He was reminded to choose a different behavior - move your dot somewhere in "Most People". You are the new energy to conquer the new. Begin where you are today - not thinking about where I am!
The children's perception of negativism in public or in front of peers permeates their psyche. But role models take a pill, a drink, or both to "cure" and cope. These behaviors are seen and copied. "You act like your grandpa. He couldn't spell. Your just like your your mother, dumb in math. 'Scared y' cat just like your sister... and on and on." (I've heard them all). The child thinks, "Yah, and I love him or her. I want to be just like him or her. Well, parents, that is a done deal. Take it from Dr. Kaye, "You've got that covered."
"I'm gonna be like you dad." (Cat's in the Cradle, song by Harry Chapin). Fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers watch and listen to yourself. You are not vying for more love or more importance than others . You are creating a being more special than you. The 'future" of these little ones. Watch. See your actions. Do your actions, especially medications and drugs, fulfill,
"You know I'm gonna be like you."
Kaye is a teacher and author of multiple works including Valerie Valentine Visits Vincent Vampire